Born To Flourish: Seeing The Buddha Nature

CJ and the Seeds of Buddha Nature

Cortland

Before we get there, I wanted just to share a little story from my own life that brought this to life for me -- an experience I had with my son when he was very little.

My son CJ is 20 years old now. He's in college. But when he was a little kid, I had this routine with him where we would actually meditate together. It started when he was three years old. I'd love to say I was a masterful meditation teacher with my son, but the vast majority of it was trial and error -- probably a 99% error rate.

But there were a few things that really resonated with him, and one in particular will always stick with me. I had this idea that he should just see me meditating. So I started shifting my meditation practice in the evening to doing it at the foot of his bed. I would read him his nighttime story, and then I would just tell him, "Okay, you go to sleep. Don't pay attention to me. I'm just gonna sit here and do my meditation practice." Kind of like reverse psychology, because I knew he would of course want to pay attention.

But occasionally he would perk up and ask me questions. And there was one time where I was reminded of this principle from Buddhism called Buddha Nature -- the idea that our true nature is fundamentally pure, whole, and good; that we're kind of all Buddha by nature. We just need to learn to recognize that.

So I said that to him. I said, "You know, you're actually a Buddha. You have Buddha Nature. That's who you are." And he was like three -- of course he doesn't understand what that means. But there was something in that that just brought this joyous response out of him. He started giggling. I remember he was literally rolling around in his bed, laughing.

The book that we've written together is really all about that. It's about these innate capacities, what they are, how we can get in touch with them. This is so desperately needed in a world where we all feel broken -- we need to find a way back to the part that isn't broken.

So, Richie, that's just an opening story. It's one of my sweetest memories.

Richie

Beautiful story. I love that story.

Cortland

I'll never forget it.

Richie

I start giggling when you talk about it.

Cortland

Honestly, I have goosebumps even remembering it. His response was just so precious, and he was so little and darling. But let me kick it over to you and we can free-associate a bit here. Would you like to kick this off?

Seeing the Buddha Nature in Others

Cortland

I love that. And you use this phrase "just like me," which is a whole practice unto itself -- something I find super helpful as well, especially in moments where someone might be a little on the neurotic side, because it's so easy to get fixated on the more toxic elements of experience.

I've found that practice in particular so helpful, because in that moment, just remembering: "Oh, just like me, this person wants to be happy. Just like me, this person doesn't want to suffer." And just like me -- even though we don't want to suffer, even though we all want to be happy -- we still kind of get totally off the rails sometimes. None of us is perfect, and even though we all share these basic impulses, we're all kind of doing this human thing and making mistakes and self-correcting.

Another thing I love to do is almost like seeing the Buddha Nature in the other person -- like I did with CJ in that moment. Viewing them that way. And it's not some abstract principle -- it means very specific things. Seeing that this person has this open, expansive awareness that we all have and that we all completely lose touch with. This person has the seeds of kindness and compassion. They want to be happy and they want to be free from suffering -- again, just like me.

You don't even need to think that explicitly. It's almost just bringing to mind this more expansive view of humanity and this potential we have -- and then just seeing it in the person who's right in front of me. And I find two things happen: it definitely shifts something in the relationship. But secondarily, it almost rebounds and reverberates back to me. When I'm seeing that in somebody else, it creates this little loop -- suddenly I see it more in myself, and then it's easier to see it in them, and it kind of builds on itself in a very positive way.

So relationships are clearly one very powerful way to do it. What about your more formal meditation practice -- do you work with this there as well?

Richie

There are certainly practices I do that remind me of our nature. The "just like me" practice is actually taught in the Joy of Living curriculum. There are times when I will do that very explicitly. And then there are other, more elaborate practices in the Tibetan Buddhist tradition that really remind us of our true nature -- they're accompanied by reflections and they've affected me deeply. I come back to them regularly, and they spontaneously arise during the day when I'm interacting.

Having that formal sit time on the cushion is really helpful in creating the causes and conditions that allow them to arise spontaneously -- particularly when there's friction during the day and when this perspective is really going to matter.

Cortland

I find that too. And I think for me, both in formal meditation practice and equally throughout the day, a lot of it is just remembering this inner orientation -- noticing how much of the time, the default is the opposite. The default is to constantly be in this fixing mode: seeing the flaws, seeing the imperfections, always trying to get things better. We're fixing ourselves, fixing our relationships, fixing our partners, seeing all the flaws in the world. And we just totally miss this basic orientation to the stuff that's already here.

So for me, as much as anything, it's just clicking back into that. Noticing the orientation toward the problems and just shifting back into, "Let's not forget about everything else that I'm maybe not in touch with."

Richie

And one other element here: when a person is engaged in behavior that seems harmful to themselves or to others, the kind of practice we do helps us to see them as confused and maybe deluded -- but not fundamentally --

Cortland

Not fundamentally -- or evil or anything like that.

Richie

Exactly. Their action may be something you want to condemn, but it arises because they're failing to appreciate their true nature. And that engenders compassion. It really does. Even for public figures who I don't have to name -- who engender almost rage at times -- it really flips quickly. You see: "Wow, they are so confused. It's so sad that they're so disconnected from their underlying true nature." And that just immediately transforms the response into compassion.

Cortland